WOW!

CHECK THIS OUT!

Wouldn't be able to blog anytime soon, this thing I'm playing now is extremely addictive and FUN. Don't think I'll play much of Shattered Galaxy now either..HAH! Anyway be sure to check out its webby, I've provided a picture link, and by all means check out the screenshots, and definitely check out the movie trailer. It is a MUST! (Currently playing in Shadowmoon server, nick: Blueice. Sorry ZeroX fans, they don't allow multiple caps, ie, ZeroX becomes Zerox, which looks like Xerox the printing company..eww.

Accepting Thyself

Alas, it is time for self reflection. Albeit after living for 19 years, I have never gotten used to this, what i thought was -forsaken shell- aka body. I was never normal, born with microtia 3rd grade. I wonder how many of my friends knew, how many accept, how many deny. Like I've said, im pretty sure the majority of my closer friends knew, but have never mentioned about it, though they accept me as I am. However, up till now I could not really have the courage to accept myself, mindful of my physical disability. I am, afterall, perfectly human with needs, emotions and desires like any other.
Then, some point a few days ago, I suddenly realised my folly. All these while I have been rejecting myself, like many, accursing a part of us, hoping that we could play God and desire a better self( hence the proliferation of the cosmetic surgery industry). In actual fact, we're all questioning God's ability to create all of us in GOOD WORKS and perfection to HIS plan. We're all made for a purpose, or so I thought. So, when we doubt ourselves, we doubt God. We lose trust in Him. Hence, all my struggles with myself was actually with Him.. no wonder, I've always felt something was lacking, or wrong. Right now, Im trying to put my special gifts to His Will, but then again, what is His Will? Truthfully, I still lack the true courage to accept myself, and I find myself ignoring myself and other people. Is that what things are supposed to be? Certainly, the answer is "NO" but I need time, courage and support. I want to stop doubting God, in both His Strength and Grace, and Will of course.
Anyway, there hasn't been much things happening, except for many thoughts brewing and swirling in my mind. Nevertheless, A level results in 2 weeks!!! Curse myself if i shall fail and fulfill my nightmare( had a A B D or something in it!). And I hope it may be God's Will that my desire to become doctor as well. Let me pray that extreme slacking during my jc years wouldn't pay off during A levels, and that I could enter NUS.
Aye, I very much want to go serve in overseas mission trips. Reflecting at the recent tsunami incident, I desired to go and help those people almost dying and in pain, but I am uncapable. Also, in deprived countries lacking medical facilities, many people are needlessly dying. I want to be there too, but again, I am lacking. That is why I want to study, I want to go. Let's just hope it's is not too late, to let a moment( or 2 years) of folly foil my future plans. Arg.

Sigh.

Here I am blogging, on Vday, cause im alone..

Anyway, haven't been blogging for the past week. You guessed it. Busy shaking people's hands collecting red packets, hiding behind couches counting them secretly (hey i really used to do that lol). Also, been on a losing streak when playing 21( blackjack), as usual. Guess I don't have that touch of luck anymore huh..wonder where it went.
The last week was busy, and fulfulling. Been around snapping with my new Nikon Coolpix 3700..hmm it is one Biggie at its price. Haven't really figured all the functions yet, but i've got pretty good shots.. and loving it.( Especially candid shots, ones in which i catch people in wierd postions, but hilariously funny, and good.)
Oh, I just remembered. Yesterday at my sister's place, we've played inbetween( A game which you place a bet whether the 3rd card would lie inbetween the previous two. Win and take from the pool the same amount you bet, lose by either being out of the two cards, or pay double by having the same card as either of the 2 cards), the pool was about 50 bucks plus. According to Russell, that is small deal, but to me, that's alot. Imagine having the same card, and you called jackpot( you aim for the entire pool), you'd have to pay $100 bucks. Anyway, my sis won it..damn. I ought to have played instead of fiddling with my guitar.
And today, didn't go to camp. Took an MC. The night before was plagued with mosquitoes, after my father turned off the fan and opened the window. I didn't really sleep, and then i woke up with a gastric feeling, coupled with nausea and giddyness. Decided not to go camp...it was horrible. I really hoped to get dengue...haha..I would love to experience it at least once.. heard that sometimes you'd feel like you're on FiRe!
Anyway, I don't think i'll update my blog daily, it is just too much of a commitment to spare. I'd love to dedicate this time to people whom I love..hah..if I had any to begin with.......

Mission OPS DUTY Successful

Hurray! I survived the night of extreme slacking in extreme cold. Got to slack and watch TV - Daylight and Desperate Housewives. Heh that was a nice trailer/comedy with mature humour as it's theme, I think. Anyway, the DMSO(officer in charge) was a doctor who hardly talked. (So I understood what they meant by 'sian' today your officer......). Slept under jacket and blanket and still shivered. I happened to be lying under 2 commercial aircon vents just side by side.. -.-
Anyway, came home all smelly, couldn't get to bathe the day before. Too cold, I'd say.
Came home and wanted to try out my new camera I bought. But my mom, as usual, wanted the place speck clean, and I also had to laminate my computer table with a sheet of plastic. Hey it sure looks good now! (Of course man, I did it ;p)
Also, I realised that my site wasn't accessible for couple of days. In the office, I thought it was the internet being extremely lagged. I came home and realised that someone (surely couldn't be me) deleted a nearly half the blog html. Sigh, I apologize to all, and also to whomever who edited my html, "Why the hell you did that?" Anyway decided to change my pass.
-Peace-

The Night in Camp

Yo people out there! Recruit Jonathan Ang is your ops duty clerk(2IC) for today! (Don't know if I'll get charged for releasing this ;x) Anyway, this is my first time doing Ops duty. I get to sit down in an air-conditioned office, watch TV , read newspapers, probably surf the net - like im doing now, and wait for phone calls - like when waiting for a gal's call, for example.
Had to wait for 30mins to get my out-ration. (It was extra dry spaghetti with nasi-brani style crisp chicken) Accessed the balcony, sat alone and ate. The scenery was so dazzling (I could see as far as my eyes could, tree top canopies, rows of terrace houses, some commercial buildings in the far horizon, and BEAUTIFULLY Clear blue sky that spanned across the entire sky, coupled with a romantic sunset. Bah I was ALONE, sobs no girls), that i had totally forgotten to pray until now.
Anyway, I shall have to continue my duties now, My HP is always available for sms'es and calls (incoming free) so you can always count on me to chat! Nitez ;p

Chinese New Year Shoppin

Shop Shop Non-stop Hop!

Shopping is tiring, especially for guys! Absolutely no idea how girls can move from shops to shops without feeling the slightest strain on the backs ankles and legs(and eyes too, and most certainly their wallets..)

Anyway, went shopping with my sis to get me some presents cum chinese new year clothes etc. Went Tampines Mall and scourged the place for a pair of basketball shoes. Saw a nice Nike pair, but there wasn't the right size. Had late lunch, went to Simei to check out another outlet. None. Went to Pasir Ris to check it out too. None. Somehow, my sis and I stopped by courts and bought the Nikon Coolpix 3700 at $399. Hell I felt cheated. The promotion was for 256mem card..the promo was over but the guy didn't tell us.. So i came home with a 128....bleh nvm. (My sis bought one set too.......)

Anyway, went back tampines and got another nice pair of Nike shoes. UP: 292.50, now at 173++. Not bad ;p Anyway, Cheers to all my nice sisters ( Kate got me these shoes and helped paid for the cam first..got me another sleeveless, and so did my other sister Dot.)

On the way home, passed a couple of beggers and thought : " Here i am spending so much money to lavish myself. Over there are people who can't afford to live for themselves, financially handicapped due to pressing reasons, such as decapitated limbs and such. Basically, handicapped or difficulty due to some physical disabilities. I did feel guilty somehow.. Perhaps i could do something for them in the close future"

Anyway, all in all, it was a nice shopping day ;p

All in all..nice shopping day ;\

Saturday! WOW!

Happy Chinese New Year All;

What a nice saturday, awoken by a dark and gloomy sky, threatening to ruin our basketball meeting. Well, anyway things turned out quite alright, except that it was a Saturday, my MOM is at home, plus the fact that she's doing spring cleaning made us ( russell jeremy daniel, and special guest chee chinlin ;p) feel at ease. Haha ;p My mom's such a bother, nag, pessimist, etc. I do wish i have a nice mom...like russell's or chinlin's.

Oh btw, chinlin was early as usual, and the other guys came 1 hr later. That made chinlin and me walk around Hougang point..and chitchat..we didn't wanna go up coz i knew what my mom's reaction would be..which is not the case rofl.

It's been a long time since i've played bball.. felt very tired just after two short matches, 7 points each. It was cool though, delighted to use my trained up biceps/arm and realised i used less strenght to keep airballing(overshooting hehe) - Where is Sivam man? He claims to be playing with his TP friends, teaching him how to play and shoot well. Comon bring it ON! Anyway, we've had some badminton matches. We're all trashed by chinlin.so pro.. i lost her 6:15. I think someone got much worse. Anyway, lets go to a proper court nexttime ok?

Fast-forwarding ( you wouldn't wanna hear about my mom's nagging, would you?) - treated 1 hour of pool..wah $6.90.heh.. Man the place was as sleazy as it could get..like a fight waiting to erupt any moment. Went with russell to his sister's bdae ceremony at his grandma's place. Wierdly awkward there. I was XtraXtraXtraXtra.
Claire was so cute still..but she looks plumb now..

Anyway..tired. Nites

Valentino

14th February..

The moment of red frenzy and sweet browns (referring to roses and chocolates). How many out there are dateless or single like me? Come let us commemorate these day to the ones we love but cannot date. Some1 in the office mentioned that it was pretty easy to get dates, they are all around.( red dates, days of the calender etc.)

While I was almost lost in the thoughts of finding a date, I suddenly recalled that I desired love more than anything else on Earth. I could give up my dreams, my ideals, my lifestyle. Everything, even my life. It's true. I could do it for YOU.

Then i remembered. That sounds familiar. Hey. Was it not God who did the same thing?(no..something i can't compare on equal terms). Out of selfless, unconditional love Jesus died on the Cross for us. To Jesus! (boxes of chocolates and roses too). Of course we all know Jesus don't want chocolates and roses. He wants us! And us to be fishers of man, to be the light of the world.

It is this same love which tears my heart apart. Imagine someone whom you've loved dearly continually hurting you. That is me. But it is the same love I desire..that 'thing that fills emptiness'. Having to love and be loved are human nature, hardwired into us by God. God is Love. It's hard to explain..

Critics (and there are many of them), tend to refute Christianity and the Bible, saying it is written by man and therefore falsified. What they don't know, is that the original Bible(KJV 1611) based on the Hebrew scripts, were found to have codes in it. (IE, Genesis code which employed equidistant letter coding, of many events and famous leaders - way after the Bible was written) For your info, the Bible was not written chronologically written (in order of the books in the Bible), nor was it all written in a single period of time. Thus, the prophesies in the Bible are self-fulfilled, with much evidences. I don't understand, why with so much historical, documented, factual evidences, one could still refuse to believe in Christ. Does one have to see to believe? It might be too late. I've always thought it was unfair for people to die without even having a chance to even hear about God, unreached tribal people for example. So there are many damned people in the world, without any glimpse of hope(just my 2cents).. Anyway - check out my link section for more info.

I guess I have to stop before it gets draggy. Anyway, my friends, please don't undermine our Testimony and Witnessing to Christ. It is important to him, It is even mentioned in the Great Commission - "Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen" (Matt 28;19,20) Yay, one day I can say these things without guilt, but even so, I must do my part.

Sai Kang Warrior! Bwahahaha

Sai Kang Warrior for HQ AMS!

Hurray! My Name is Rec Jonathan Ang, A.K.A Sai Kang Warrior For HQ AMS!

Asking to shred paper, collect paper from printer. Today was absurb, clear the 2 fountains. Those were like a megaton , surrounded by graphite slabs which are so freaking heavy..my back which was already hurt got hurt again. And I accidentally let one down on my middle finger because it was too near the wall to grab hold of properly.
Had my usual headache/migraine pangs all day again. I wonder if i've brain tumour or something..hah!. But if i die, who actually cares?

Hai.. I can't find inspiration to write today. I've had enough of ranting for once. Anyway, no quotes today..lazy to read. how about something from the horse's mouth instead? Bwahaha
"In retrospect, everything I have done up till now will seem meaningless and fleeting when compared to something which would last for eternity. As all men are appointed to die, therefore shouldn't we plan for our lives in eternity?"

At the 11th hour

Grubbles about office work today.

Another slack day. What to do when they don't bother giving you a post, an upperstudy(some1 who teaches you the strings), a seat, a desk, or proper assignments? Went for dispatch, had lunch alone. Came back, tried to do some html with my blog, got ranted for being in the wrong place, being too free.."PLAYING GAMES" Faggass morons being my superiors, I can't deny that accusation anymore. Why do stupid people do stupid things like imposing double standards? (Go touch that tree. Hey, why the hell you touching the tree? See me later) Get my point? Have to live my life around idiots like that..pretty saddens my day. (Now, maturity doesn't come with age, it comes with logical reasoning. Those gays are over 40, 50? Aunties and Uncles..) Anyway, i'll put that behind me for now.

Anyway, here's a little book introduction

"This is a nice book, I think it's great for both Christians and NonChristians. It addresses a crucial question everyone is asking. "What on earth am I here for?" Somewhere between the lines, the book addresses the fact that we're are not here by accident, we're not accidentally made. We're here for a purpose, not of our own. I've always pondered upon this question, felt a great chasm of emptiness. Sigh, Im still in the process of reading (It's designed to be read once a day for 40days), I'd suggest you guys either borrow it from me or buy one."

- Jonathan

Oh and today, I brought up the idea of me wanted to own a digital camera. Heh, my hidden talent..or not so hidden. Anyone noticed I was the cameraman in Boy's Brigade? Anyway, was researching on which digital camera to buy. Holy, what a vast variety to choose from. Of course, a guy like me shan't buy out of budget, nor of usage. Then, i called my sister for advice. She mentioned Nikon CoolPix 3700, and they had it on offer for $399, with tripod, 256 mem card n etc. Unfortunate thing was, today was the last day of the promotion. I was almost brought to buying on impulse. Had to call my sister to pay first and all. However..things didn't turn out quite right, she says she'll try again tomorrow..Oh well. What luck eh?

A bit lazy to add a daily quote today. And since today was a bad day, no daily quotes. Justifiable.

Sunday Blues

I hate Sunday Blues!!

Sigh, I love weekends but I dread Sundays. It marks the end of the weekend, the beginning of a new week. Hell I wouldn't have bothered if im not enlisted in the Army. The Army is dreadfully boring, with little meaning whatsoever. I just hope that blogging keeps my once active mind from a permanent shutdown. Well, speaking of Sunday Blues, don't people have it? The detestable feeling of meaningless of life, having nothing to do but to stay at home and, well continue with meaningless things, the dread of returning to work? I hate it@
Today, as any other Sundays, I didn't go to church. I wonder why. My spiritual life has been an all time low since i entered JC..wished I was the same innocent boy I was when I was 3, free of the knowledge of sin. I AM A SINNER. I KNOW THAT. But i can't HELP MYSELF. I don't mind dying, Life is a dread.. I could die to stop sinning, and die for someone else in that process. Why don't people think what happens after they die? Only fools make merry on Earth and not think about death, since death is something appointed to ALL men... then we all should spend this life thinking about where we gonna spend our eternity.
God SAVE ME!
- Btw I do hope more people read my blog, those whom would like to understand me better. Im a quiet guy but a man of words, in that sense, someone who expresses his feelings better with words, with the limited vocabulary I accidentally picked up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Daily Quote" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He asks nothing but death, and you desire nothing but life. How can you put up to Him a prayer for his grace, with a restriction that He shall only send it by a channel demanding no sacrifice on your part but ministering to the gratification of your carnal pride?

François Fénelon

Saturday Night Fever..Oopmh!

Just another saturday..

Bah. Only Jeremy, Daniel and Russell, along with me went out today. As usual, we wanted to TRAIN our pool l33tness. I was gonna reach late. We were supposed to meet at 1.00 at bedok, but i'd reach there in 1.15 as russell thought. As usual, russell took that excuse to be late and asked daniel to meet at 130 without telling me. They arrived at 1.38(so they were late in the end - i demand a coffee bread) So we went to Katong to cut daniel's hair(why cut when it's so short..doesn't look different).

Hmm..what did we have for lunch? Oh yeah, I had Korean BBQ beef set - $6.50, i thought the price was a little pricey for something so little in quantity. Had coffee bread - Oh, we're all so addicted to it. Come to think of it, $1.20 for a meagre piece of bread is an extreme mark up..lol.

Then, on to pool practice. As usual, the starting few rounds were downright slow..we couldn't make it below 7mins...As usual Russell uses his 255 luck to pawn us, especially Daniel, somehow. Daniel pawns Jeremy, and Jeremy pawns me.! not fair.. Bah i hate breaking when im against jeremy. Sucks. He's always on a 2 - 4 ball lead after that..SOBS. (yeah im not too happy losing so many times!) Anyway, near the end about something close to 8pm (think we played 4, 5 hours...the bill came up to..28bucks?!), we had final 2 on 2s. All because Russell and Jeremy were gonna lose (foul ball and we left black), they committed Sepekku by hitting the black ball in FOR US, withholding our honour of WINNING! Bah - rematch!!!..Haha.

• I derived a theory - Daniel coined it The Jonathan's Theory. My theory was - if a ball in a pool table were to have a horizontal and vertical components of velocity, both having a non zero value, then eventually it will enter a hole (assuming completely elastic collision and frictionless environment)

Bah, I wanna finish this post by 12.00 ..because i need to post a daily quote for saturday..wahaha..So i think i'll end here! Ja ne!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Daily Quote" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear. -- John 4:18

A Tribute to Beautiful Girls

Hurrah for pretty eye-candies

Today is as good as it gets! Had unit anniversary at Down Town East. Well.. we had a nice breakfast for a start, then headed down to the bowling alley....had a bowling tournament. Yes. TOURNAMENT. Like wtf? Last time I bowled at our chalet, I was literally throwing money into the drain! Almost had a single digit score too! Wow. I was apprehensive of course..But I tried my best, and managed a 99 in the first round. Surprisingly, our team won the tourny and I got a trophy.wow.

Well..Then we went for an 8 course lunch, with a very LAME MC. The only thing that brightened my day were the waitresses. Ooooo.. They are beautiful beyond my ability to describe.!

• They were typical Chinese Japanese looking, thin diamond eyes, sharp small nose, thin sweet lips..Perfect facial structure, sharp chin.
• Their hair tied up into a ponytail, dyed blonde..Hair hanging down at the front, and cat feelers too.
• White semi transparent top.black inside* Opps..black skirt. Demure looking! With a tinge of ah lian look. Yummy. Pity..No pic.
• Perfect height, 160+. Definitely nice slim figure..

Enough said, they are HOT...! If only....haha. Well, this post today goes out to all the pretty girls out there, treasure your beauty..But don't let it get to your head :P

Sigh..Have to go hotel later to help out.. But I'd predict I'll have a diarrhoea in just about 15mins time..so .. :p

Fuming at the first hour of the day

*Brwwaaah*

Can't help NOT pulling my hair apart. I spent the entire day doing my blog, literally, since 9am yesterday(technically since now it is 12:08 am).

May someone help me!?!?!
Problems i screwed up with:

• Everytime was FINE until i tried to add a counter. Then my background picture disapppeared and i had to..replace the entire html text with a fresh one.. of course, saving all my links n stuff like that.
• Then I realised in the posts, that all the font sizes were our of proportion. DAMN
• So i tried adjusting. the best i could get is this, though this was far from the original.
• Firstly, the DATE STAMP can't be adjusted seperately with the text body. HOW? zz.
  When I change the font size, both are affected. DATE STAMP is supposed to be WAY BIGGER..so wtf?
• One more thing i noticed was that i could not indent after every paragraph..damn this really pisses me off...right into the next day!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Daily Quote" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Creditors have better memories than debtors.
Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790)

Home and NOT alone..

WOW what a rare occasion eh? My bro's at home and he's cutting his hair. Sigh he looked like me, so ragged and fragile when I kept my hair long..Well somewhat long as compared to the hair cut I had 10days before going to NS to get it SHAVED! Did you guys see? Didn't it look kinda cool? Compared to the dull hairstyle I kept..Never realised I looked like shit till then..Or maybe I still do?

On my way home to board 159, people were crowding at the bus entrance and an old uncle was standing at the steps, refusing to alight the bus. He was shooing people to one side, saying some nasty things you won't wanna know.. And when people cleared for him, I almost laughed out loud..Plus that old man turned around n starting scolding someone rofl.. Saying in Chinese " Zhe li ke yi shang ye ki yi xia de hor! nian qing ren ....." Which translates into, " This place can go up can go down one!
Young people blablabla...." And started pointing , even after the bus left. OMG..Hilarious public clown..


Anyway, I'd test post this, coz my friend has problems with posting. She says that there is no paragraphing. I wonder how this would turn out to be? HaH!

The horror of an office.

The dread of waking up in the wee hours of the morning, IE, 6.30am. I've always wondered how could people wake up so early? I never could wake myself up. Bah I must be suffering from both insomnia and 'DI'somnia. Nevertheless, yet another day that I have to crawl out of bed, force myself to look at the nearly bald figure in front of the mirror..and do those stuff(yeah you know those stuff, don't you.)

Thus the boring day begins again, having no chair to sit at times, I have to sit in a dustbin. The guy beside me is doing it now too :P . Bosses here are idiotic as usual, not all, not the doctors certainly.
Why do people work?
-money
-career
-passion
-NS liability ( thats me!)

I'll probably not blog so early in the morning next time..its just becoz im BORED. Spelt: "B" "O" "R" "E" "D".
Then again, what's there to blog about the day, when it has just begun? O well i'll blog again tonite..sigh..another 8 more hours of doing nothing to endure..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Daily Quote" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Never cease loving a person, and never give up hope for him, for even the prodigal son who had fallen most low, could still be saved; the bitterest enemy and also he who was your friend could again be your friend; love that has grown cold can kindle again."

Sören Kierkegaard

First Pinup for the New Year!

Omg! Here comes the lagger!

30th October 2004 - Sunday
First things first. I'd like to do a little backtracking..all the way back to 30/10/04. This post is to honour God's special plan. Ok here shows my folly:
During my A levels, i wrote every single day beside the examination entries, so that i could remember easily.

And so on this very sunday, russell, jeremy, me and whoelse? decided to go for a swim. I spent my day relaxing, knowing i had Monday to study for my chem paper3. Russell however, was being mocked by me every moment for having maths paper the very next day.
So with ease, I spent my entire day, swadding around the pool, eating, chatting..

Reached home at 11pm.
Had this mysterious sms saying "Good luck for your paper tomorrow"
"What paper? I don't have any paper tml..but thx anyway"
"Oh you don't take chem? okok nvm"
- I went white in the face and decided to check it out.. and then...
- OMG! I realised that i had written the day beside the exam entry saying Tuesday ( when it was supposed to be Monday) Comon it was at 11pm, i had spent the entire day merry making, left my studying to do on Monday..wouldn't anyone panic?
"OMG! I HAVE chem p3 tmr! OMGOMG so late already!!zz Thx man you saved my ass big time"
"Yea i guess i saved ur ass big time"
"Erm..so who are you?"
"Don't bother you don't know me"
"Can't be la..tell me leh i need to treat you man.."
"Nah even if i want the treat im some where far away and locked up"
"er..yan yan zhe zhe? (my sis in china, far away , locked up? perhaps)
"Yeah"

The thing is, there was nothing to substantiate that it was my sister, furthermore she didn't seem to know about the incident, what more that i have a paper the next time, AND that i didnt KNOW i had a paper. This would apply to anyone, anyway.

It may seem hard to convince people how this, at least to me, is not coincidence..more like God's plan at hand. Note the serious repercussions if i wouldn't have turned up. Plus, the paper wasn't that difficult! Phew..now to await my results.