WOW!

CHECK THIS OUT!

Wouldn't be able to blog anytime soon, this thing I'm playing now is extremely addictive and FUN. Don't think I'll play much of Shattered Galaxy now either..HAH! Anyway be sure to check out its webby, I've provided a picture link, and by all means check out the screenshots, and definitely check out the movie trailer. It is a MUST! (Currently playing in Shadowmoon server, nick: Blueice. Sorry ZeroX fans, they don't allow multiple caps, ie, ZeroX becomes Zerox, which looks like Xerox the printing company..eww.

Accepting Thyself

Alas, it is time for self reflection. Albeit after living for 19 years, I have never gotten used to this, what i thought was -forsaken shell- aka body. I was never normal, born with microtia 3rd grade. I wonder how many of my friends knew, how many accept, how many deny. Like I've said, im pretty sure the majority of my closer friends knew, but have never mentioned about it, though they accept me as I am. However, up till now I could not really have the courage to accept myself, mindful of my physical disability. I am, afterall, perfectly human with needs, emotions and desires like any other.
Then, some point a few days ago, I suddenly realised my folly. All these while I have been rejecting myself, like many, accursing a part of us, hoping that we could play God and desire a better self( hence the proliferation of the cosmetic surgery industry). In actual fact, we're all questioning God's ability to create all of us in GOOD WORKS and perfection to HIS plan. We're all made for a purpose, or so I thought. So, when we doubt ourselves, we doubt God. We lose trust in Him. Hence, all my struggles with myself was actually with Him.. no wonder, I've always felt something was lacking, or wrong. Right now, Im trying to put my special gifts to His Will, but then again, what is His Will? Truthfully, I still lack the true courage to accept myself, and I find myself ignoring myself and other people. Is that what things are supposed to be? Certainly, the answer is "NO" but I need time, courage and support. I want to stop doubting God, in both His Strength and Grace, and Will of course.
Anyway, there hasn't been much things happening, except for many thoughts brewing and swirling in my mind. Nevertheless, A level results in 2 weeks!!! Curse myself if i shall fail and fulfill my nightmare( had a A B D or something in it!). And I hope it may be God's Will that my desire to become doctor as well. Let me pray that extreme slacking during my jc years wouldn't pay off during A levels, and that I could enter NUS.
Aye, I very much want to go serve in overseas mission trips. Reflecting at the recent tsunami incident, I desired to go and help those people almost dying and in pain, but I am uncapable. Also, in deprived countries lacking medical facilities, many people are needlessly dying. I want to be there too, but again, I am lacking. That is why I want to study, I want to go. Let's just hope it's is not too late, to let a moment( or 2 years) of folly foil my future plans. Arg.

Sigh.

Here I am blogging, on Vday, cause im alone..

Anyway, haven't been blogging for the past week. You guessed it. Busy shaking people's hands collecting red packets, hiding behind couches counting them secretly (hey i really used to do that lol). Also, been on a losing streak when playing 21( blackjack), as usual. Guess I don't have that touch of luck anymore huh..wonder where it went.
The last week was busy, and fulfulling. Been around snapping with my new Nikon Coolpix 3700..hmm it is one Biggie at its price. Haven't really figured all the functions yet, but i've got pretty good shots.. and loving it.( Especially candid shots, ones in which i catch people in wierd postions, but hilariously funny, and good.)
Oh, I just remembered. Yesterday at my sister's place, we've played inbetween( A game which you place a bet whether the 3rd card would lie inbetween the previous two. Win and take from the pool the same amount you bet, lose by either being out of the two cards, or pay double by having the same card as either of the 2 cards), the pool was about 50 bucks plus. According to Russell, that is small deal, but to me, that's alot. Imagine having the same card, and you called jackpot( you aim for the entire pool), you'd have to pay $100 bucks. Anyway, my sis won it..damn. I ought to have played instead of fiddling with my guitar.
And today, didn't go to camp. Took an MC. The night before was plagued with mosquitoes, after my father turned off the fan and opened the window. I didn't really sleep, and then i woke up with a gastric feeling, coupled with nausea and giddyness. Decided not to go camp...it was horrible. I really hoped to get dengue...haha..I would love to experience it at least once.. heard that sometimes you'd feel like you're on FiRe!
Anyway, I don't think i'll update my blog daily, it is just too much of a commitment to spare. I'd love to dedicate this time to people whom I love..hah..if I had any to begin with.......

Mission OPS DUTY Successful

Hurray! I survived the night of extreme slacking in extreme cold. Got to slack and watch TV - Daylight and Desperate Housewives. Heh that was a nice trailer/comedy with mature humour as it's theme, I think. Anyway, the DMSO(officer in charge) was a doctor who hardly talked. (So I understood what they meant by 'sian' today your officer......). Slept under jacket and blanket and still shivered. I happened to be lying under 2 commercial aircon vents just side by side.. -.-
Anyway, came home all smelly, couldn't get to bathe the day before. Too cold, I'd say.
Came home and wanted to try out my new camera I bought. But my mom, as usual, wanted the place speck clean, and I also had to laminate my computer table with a sheet of plastic. Hey it sure looks good now! (Of course man, I did it ;p)
Also, I realised that my site wasn't accessible for couple of days. In the office, I thought it was the internet being extremely lagged. I came home and realised that someone (surely couldn't be me) deleted a nearly half the blog html. Sigh, I apologize to all, and also to whomever who edited my html, "Why the hell you did that?" Anyway decided to change my pass.
-Peace-

The Night in Camp

Yo people out there! Recruit Jonathan Ang is your ops duty clerk(2IC) for today! (Don't know if I'll get charged for releasing this ;x) Anyway, this is my first time doing Ops duty. I get to sit down in an air-conditioned office, watch TV , read newspapers, probably surf the net - like im doing now, and wait for phone calls - like when waiting for a gal's call, for example.
Had to wait for 30mins to get my out-ration. (It was extra dry spaghetti with nasi-brani style crisp chicken) Accessed the balcony, sat alone and ate. The scenery was so dazzling (I could see as far as my eyes could, tree top canopies, rows of terrace houses, some commercial buildings in the far horizon, and BEAUTIFULLY Clear blue sky that spanned across the entire sky, coupled with a romantic sunset. Bah I was ALONE, sobs no girls), that i had totally forgotten to pray until now.
Anyway, I shall have to continue my duties now, My HP is always available for sms'es and calls (incoming free) so you can always count on me to chat! Nitez ;p

Chinese New Year Shoppin

Shop Shop Non-stop Hop!

Shopping is tiring, especially for guys! Absolutely no idea how girls can move from shops to shops without feeling the slightest strain on the backs ankles and legs(and eyes too, and most certainly their wallets..)

Anyway, went shopping with my sis to get me some presents cum chinese new year clothes etc. Went Tampines Mall and scourged the place for a pair of basketball shoes. Saw a nice Nike pair, but there wasn't the right size. Had late lunch, went to Simei to check out another outlet. None. Went to Pasir Ris to check it out too. None. Somehow, my sis and I stopped by courts and bought the Nikon Coolpix 3700 at $399. Hell I felt cheated. The promotion was for 256mem card..the promo was over but the guy didn't tell us.. So i came home with a 128....bleh nvm. (My sis bought one set too.......)

Anyway, went back tampines and got another nice pair of Nike shoes. UP: 292.50, now at 173++. Not bad ;p Anyway, Cheers to all my nice sisters ( Kate got me these shoes and helped paid for the cam first..got me another sleeveless, and so did my other sister Dot.)

On the way home, passed a couple of beggers and thought : " Here i am spending so much money to lavish myself. Over there are people who can't afford to live for themselves, financially handicapped due to pressing reasons, such as decapitated limbs and such. Basically, handicapped or difficulty due to some physical disabilities. I did feel guilty somehow.. Perhaps i could do something for them in the close future"

Anyway, all in all, it was a nice shopping day ;p

All in all..nice shopping day ;\

Saturday! WOW!

Happy Chinese New Year All;

What a nice saturday, awoken by a dark and gloomy sky, threatening to ruin our basketball meeting. Well, anyway things turned out quite alright, except that it was a Saturday, my MOM is at home, plus the fact that she's doing spring cleaning made us ( russell jeremy daniel, and special guest chee chinlin ;p) feel at ease. Haha ;p My mom's such a bother, nag, pessimist, etc. I do wish i have a nice mom...like russell's or chinlin's.

Oh btw, chinlin was early as usual, and the other guys came 1 hr later. That made chinlin and me walk around Hougang point..and chitchat..we didn't wanna go up coz i knew what my mom's reaction would be..which is not the case rofl.

It's been a long time since i've played bball.. felt very tired just after two short matches, 7 points each. It was cool though, delighted to use my trained up biceps/arm and realised i used less strenght to keep airballing(overshooting hehe) - Where is Sivam man? He claims to be playing with his TP friends, teaching him how to play and shoot well. Comon bring it ON! Anyway, we've had some badminton matches. We're all trashed by chinlin.so pro.. i lost her 6:15. I think someone got much worse. Anyway, lets go to a proper court nexttime ok?

Fast-forwarding ( you wouldn't wanna hear about my mom's nagging, would you?) - treated 1 hour of pool..wah $6.90.heh.. Man the place was as sleazy as it could get..like a fight waiting to erupt any moment. Went with russell to his sister's bdae ceremony at his grandma's place. Wierdly awkward there. I was XtraXtraXtraXtra.
Claire was so cute still..but she looks plumb now..

Anyway..tired. Nites

Valentino

14th February..

The moment of red frenzy and sweet browns (referring to roses and chocolates). How many out there are dateless or single like me? Come let us commemorate these day to the ones we love but cannot date. Some1 in the office mentioned that it was pretty easy to get dates, they are all around.( red dates, days of the calender etc.)

While I was almost lost in the thoughts of finding a date, I suddenly recalled that I desired love more than anything else on Earth. I could give up my dreams, my ideals, my lifestyle. Everything, even my life. It's true. I could do it for YOU.

Then i remembered. That sounds familiar. Hey. Was it not God who did the same thing?(no..something i can't compare on equal terms). Out of selfless, unconditional love Jesus died on the Cross for us. To Jesus! (boxes of chocolates and roses too). Of course we all know Jesus don't want chocolates and roses. He wants us! And us to be fishers of man, to be the light of the world.

It is this same love which tears my heart apart. Imagine someone whom you've loved dearly continually hurting you. That is me. But it is the same love I desire..that 'thing that fills emptiness'. Having to love and be loved are human nature, hardwired into us by God. God is Love. It's hard to explain..

Critics (and there are many of them), tend to refute Christianity and the Bible, saying it is written by man and therefore falsified. What they don't know, is that the original Bible(KJV 1611) based on the Hebrew scripts, were found to have codes in it. (IE, Genesis code which employed equidistant letter coding, of many events and famous leaders - way after the Bible was written) For your info, the Bible was not written chronologically written (in order of the books in the Bible), nor was it all written in a single period of time. Thus, the prophesies in the Bible are self-fulfilled, with much evidences. I don't understand, why with so much historical, documented, factual evidences, one could still refuse to believe in Christ. Does one have to see to believe? It might be too late. I've always thought it was unfair for people to die without even having a chance to even hear about God, unreached tribal people for example. So there are many damned people in the world, without any glimpse of hope(just my 2cents).. Anyway - check out my link section for more info.

I guess I have to stop before it gets draggy. Anyway, my friends, please don't undermine our Testimony and Witnessing to Christ. It is important to him, It is even mentioned in the Great Commission - "Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen" (Matt 28;19,20) Yay, one day I can say these things without guilt, but even so, I must do my part.

Sai Kang Warrior! Bwahahaha

Sai Kang Warrior for HQ AMS!

Hurray! My Name is Rec Jonathan Ang, A.K.A Sai Kang Warrior For HQ AMS!

Asking to shred paper, collect paper from printer. Today was absurb, clear the 2 fountains. Those were like a megaton , surrounded by graphite slabs which are so freaking heavy..my back which was already hurt got hurt again. And I accidentally let one down on my middle finger because it was too near the wall to grab hold of properly.
Had my usual headache/migraine pangs all day again. I wonder if i've brain tumour or something..hah!. But if i die, who actually cares?

Hai.. I can't find inspiration to write today. I've had enough of ranting for once. Anyway, no quotes today..lazy to read. how about something from the horse's mouth instead? Bwahaha
"In retrospect, everything I have done up till now will seem meaningless and fleeting when compared to something which would last for eternity. As all men are appointed to die, therefore shouldn't we plan for our lives in eternity?"